My name is Michael A. Here I’m known by my number, 800 373-3966. They say I deserve to be stuck in phone mail prison. But I tell ya’, I’m innocent. Here’s my story …

Couple of hours ago, I call this high tech outfit … a fairly big company. Their phone rings three times and a voice answers. Not a live voice, mind you, just some pre-recorded warden who starts reeling-off a list of options: “If you’re calling about a previously-placed but not yet received order, press 1. If you’re calling about an order that you placed and which already has been delivered, press 2. If you want to apply for a return authorization number, press 3.”

I don’t want any of those things. I simply have a question and want to speak with a live person. Preferably one who will listen and respond, be smart and nice, too. No such luck. I’m captured by the call distributor police and trundled off to phone mail prison: “leave a message and someone will call you.”

The irony is that when phone mail was new, the pioneering companies pitched it as a way out of phone jail … technology to avoid those pink “while you were out” notes, to make sure people hear messages completely and in the caller’s own voice, to expedite replies and business, and so on. It didn’t work out that way.

While phone mail technology is fine, its misapplication is not. Too often, phone mail works to the detriment of customers and other legitimate callers, especially when people within an organization use phone mail to become inaccessible. When carried to its defensive extreme, phone mail becomes the instrument of business prevention. That’s what happened to me. That’s why I’m stuck here in this insidious phone mail prison.

But hey … maybe breaking out of this joint isn’t so hard! What if I simply hang up and take my business elsewhere? Click! Hallelujah! I’m free!