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How do you deal with an unprofessional HR Manager?
My HR Manager has serious problems of keeping confidential information to herself. Here are some examples. I turned an employee in for sexual harassment and she told him it was me who turned him in and he confronted me about it. I was also having marital problems and I work with my husband and she blurted out that we were getting a divorce in front of everyone. I've heard numerous times that she has told people confidential information to her "good friend" co-workers. For some reason she is completely up the owner's butt and is so incredibly un-professional. How can someone like little me do anything about this? This has gone on for more than 10 years.
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3 Answers
Tina:
I see it that you have three choices and you may not like any of them.
1. Don't tell her anything confidential and if you do know that it will not be kept confidential
2.Gather the fact and set up a meeting with the president and explain the potential legal problems she may be causing. If you do this be ready to have the president ask you to confront the HR manager, (If you could get others to go along with you that would be helpful)
3. Set her up my telling her about something that is covered under ADA that she can not tell anyone else. If she did tell anyone else she is setting the company up for a major lawsuit.
4. Start looking for another job.
There are some great articles on the web dealing with this.
Consider these possibilities:
1) tell her directly that HR professionals are required to maintain confidentiality and that her failure to do so in your case has created further problems for you. Be very clear about the behaviour without attacking the person. Ask her how she will change this situation so that it is no longer a problem. Keep a note to yourself of the date and content of this discussion in case it comes up again. If she denies breaking confidentiality calmly list the times in which you know this has happened. If she continues to deny it simply tell her that breaking confidentiality is a significant problem and one that must stop.
2) start looking for another job-quietly :)
3) Are you absolutely sure she is that tight with the president? Sometimes people have the impression that is the case but the president doesn't have a clue anyone thinks that. Consider having a calm, clear, just the facts meeting with him. Be sure you discuss the behaviour and consequences to you only-do not in any way denigrate the HR Manager-this is important. It is not her as a person but a specific behaviour that is a problem. We all exhibit behaviours from time to time that are not viewed well by others but we can all benefit from learning about this without our self respect coming under attack.
Take some information about the ethical responsibility of HR people regarding confidentiality into the meeting with you to share with the President. If you Google this you will likely find something suitable that works for you.
Endorse the prior comments but would add that it will be vital that you enter computer-mode of communications (see Suzette Haden Elgin's initial "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense") to scrupulously avoid any personalization of the issue. Keep everything objective, maybe even avoiding names if possible: i.e., "X has witnessed Y occuring with Z consequences that violate law A." Nevertheless, you better seek an exit strategy as a fallback position, because the organization head clearly is her enabler, if not an active accomplice. Options #4 by Mel and #2 by Karin above are most essential first.
The unprofessional one will not change the behaviors without adequate sufficient good cause. These offenses have been consistently rewarded or at least gone unpunished for a decade, so it would be rash, dangerous and irresponsible for you to assume that simply speaking up will change the historical balances of consequences here. Long-established enduring consistent behavior patterns will not vary without major shock and massive interventions that create a totally new dynamic. That includes the enabling behaviors of the president, who might well be the instigator if not merely an amused spectator. This may have to go up to the board level, if not first to your internal auditor or other ombudsman position.
Hate to say it, but the ability to mess with people is widely considered to be a job perk at non-profits, particularly at the unpaid board member level.
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