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What should I look for in a mentor?

What qualities are desirable in a mentor? Do you just want someone that you get along with and look up to? Or, is there something else that I should be looking for?

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4
Lei Han
Career Strategist / Marketing Executive, BeMyCareerCoach.com
Posted on June 6, 2011

I think there are four general qualities that are desirable in a mentor.
1. someone you respect in the area you want mentorship on - Just like other's response, this requires you to know in what area you want mentorship. for example, if you want a mentor around how to achieve work life balance, then that mentor should have wisdom and experience that you respect in that area

2. mutual rapport and respect - someone you can speak to honestly about your situation; someone you respect but also that person is also inspired by your potential. You can read more about this in my article called Mentorship Model - http://bemycareercoach.com/1339/soft-skills/finding-mentors/mentoring-relatio...

3. someone interested in helping others grow and know how to do it - not all brilliant people know how to teach what they know. Same goes with mentors. Not all are created equal. You need to find someone that is interested in helping others and someone that you perceive would give you sound guidance.

4. someone willing to be your mentor - you have to ask someone to be your mentor. Great mentors are also busy people and can only have the capacity to mentor a few well. So make sure if this person has the 3 qualities above, then you proactively build the relationship for them to be your mentor. See my article on how to ask someone to be your mentor for specific dos and donts advice - http://bemycareercoach.com/1301/soft-skills/finding-mentors/mentor-how-to-ask...

Besides the above, I would also advise the following
1. Find more than one mentor. This is because even the best mentor will disappoint in one area or another and in fact I think it's expecting too much when you hope one mentor could provide you all the guidance you need. so instead build a board of advisor - composed of 3 to 5 mentors that can guide you in different aspect of life and career.

2. Realize that who should be our mentor also changes over time as we grown in career and life.
You can read more about who you can model yourself after in this article - http://bemycareercoach.com/1305/soft-skills/finding-mentors/role-models.html

Good luck finding a set of great mentors!

- Lei

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Lei Han
Lei Han Replied on June 6, 2011

I want to add one more quality of a good mentor
5. someone that is supportive and NOT controlling - a mentor is a guide and not someone that tells you what to do. A mentor should challenge you to look at all aspects and guide you to make your own decision. A mentor is NOT someone who criticizes you for your mistakes. You should find someone who can support and encourage you in your endeavor to develop your skills even if you make mistakes along the way.

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Rey Carr
CEO, Peer Resources
Posted on Nov. 10, 2010
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What qualities are important in a mentor really depends more on what you hope to gain from having a mentor. I suggest you restructure question to be one you ask yourself: "What do I want to happen as a result of working with a mentor?"

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Andria Corso
Principal , C3 Coaching & Consulting
Posted on Nov. 24, 2010
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I agree with Ray's response and once you define what you want to happen as a result of working with a mentor, seek out someone whom you trust and respect and who has experience in the areas where you are seeking guidance.

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Rey Carr
CEO, Peer Resources
Posted on June 6, 2011
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Lei does a wonderful job providing a number of points about what to look for in a mentor, and Andria provides tips to narrow your search. But in today's environment with the demand for mentors at an all time high, you'll also need to be prepared to disclose what you can provide for the mentor.

What will you bring to the mentoring relationship that will make it worthwhile for a person (with all the qualities mentioned by Andria and Lei) to agree to mentor you? What will you be able to say that will be a compelling set of reasons why someone who has expertise and experience as well as the respect of others in the field to find time to mentor you?

Mentors don't typically say, "What's in it for me?" but effective mentors are usually excellent about managing their time and resources so they need to be convinced that working with you (as compared to doing other things) is going to be productive and worthwhile.

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